Thursday, August 12, 2010

Lessons Learned #2

My mom, who is a follower but will not push my follow button! lol, asked what it takes to be "ready," which was the last "Lessons Learned" and that's a hard question to answer but it is one of my lessons.

#2: Accepting...
People with weight issues...that's not right, let me speak for myself.  I have a weight issue, I am an obese person and that is begining to mean something to me.  You hear the word obesity tossed around a lot these days and it creates all kinds of negative images and feelings.  I'm not going to sit here and act like I'm taking the word back from those who weild it as a weapon (like the proud "bitches" and friendly "niggas" have done) because I don't want to be obese and I find nothing positive in it.  But I have come to accept it as my condition.  A realization that is not easy one to come to for many reasons.  I dream in a world where I am no size at all, have no eating problem and can live like everyone else.  I live in a world where I am overweight, I struggle with food issues and must accept that, like an alcholic, my body and mind react strongly to food.

So, to answer the question of what ready means...I can once again, only speak for myself.  For me, it means being willing to let go of my old paradigm that had me thinking that my weight was hidden, or that I was in control, or that I was just like everyone else, or any other lie I told myself so that I didn't have to feel the pain, disgust and frustration that obesity brings.  It means making a daily commitment to make the changes that will help me lose weight and most importantly keep it off.  It means and this is the hardest lesson I've had to accept, that I will have to spend the rest of my life doing the little things that make a big difference because obesity is a condition I suffer from and my battle will never be over.

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