Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Becoming Our Best Us

My life is totally blessed. Despite my weight I am in pretty good health, I have an amazing, amazing family--immediate and extended, I have a guy who loves me--even the things about me that I can't stand, I have a job that I like for the most part and count some of my co-workers as true friends, I have NEVER experienced in a sustained way the type of pain or strife that makes you want to give up on life. For most of my life, I have been happy. But we all have our crosses and our struggles and I'm no different. My blessing is that in almost every area of my life, there are people I can turn to who love me.

I have always felt loved and supported by my family. My family is it for me. They are my best friends from my mother & father, to my sister, and even my aunt Marion. I love the relationships that I have with them. Oh goodness, I forgot my son, who asks me several times a day if we are best I can't forget him! So, family has always been good.

What's different for me is the love and support I get from my son's father. I need to say that I actually have five areas of my life that I'm working on but I didn't think that my relationship with TAE (my son's father) was one that I needed to include in this blog.  I guess my heart and mind have been taken over by him because his presence is pouring out through my fingers today.  Oh well, Imma go with it.

TAE and I are by no means perfect, but I think that we are perfect for each other. We started off totally platonic and grew into something more (clearly as he's my son's father, right?) If you ask him, I stalked him and totally pursued him, which is a complete and total lie (yes, lie!). I had no romantic interest in him, until he PURSUED ME (the caps are in case he decides to read this blog.)

But, he gets me--more than I want him to sometimes.  You know that kind of getting when you're arguing and you're standing your ground like a champ and ever thing that somebody throws at you, you can swat away like Serena did to that chick at Wimbledon?  You make your case and walk away victorious, until a few hours later when you realize that what you said was total crap and that they were right.  At that point all you can do is curse out of one side of your mouth and smile out the other!  But I love that he gets me.

I love that we can talk about almost anything from the most mundane TV shows that we've watched a million times to whether LeBron should have left Cleveland live from ESPN (he's on Cleveland's side by the way.) to how we are going to parent together.

I'll say again, we aren't perfect, but I know he loves me. He has loved me through some hard moments and loved me back from edges of despair, however fleeting they were. And through it all, he has forced me to learn how to love him back.  I thought I knew.  I had this incredible image all of my life of love, embodied by my parents.  But their love is really just an image for me.  It's like the picture instead of the actual event.  I don't get to see the behind the scenes of what it actually takes to sustain a relationship.

So, TAE and I are traveling this other journey, that I needed to write about because, while I hadn't acknowledged it in the beginning, it is having a greater influence on all of my other journeys. And like every other one of my journeys, it's a work in progress that will lead us to become our best us. 


  1. Great post! It's so important to recognize that love is unique for every couple!

  2. Totally! I'm glad I'm learning some of these lessons before I'm too old to enjoy them:-)

  3. he must be one Helluva man. Good Luck.