Friday, December 17, 2010

Was supposed to publish this last night, but I just crashed!
I went to my job's End of the Year party last night.  We go on this boat called The Spirit of Philadelphia and most of the time I go because I feel obligated not because I really want to.  It was really no different this year except I got a little more excited to go because I got to play dress up with my mom's clothes.  I have to say I looked cute.  My underwear, stockings, jeans and shoes were mine...everything else, including the lipstick I wore was borrowed from my mom.

I felt like I finally was able to benefit from a time honored tradition that my sister has enjoyed for years...borrowing your mom's good clothes.  My mom and dad were really excited that I was able to join the tradition, so much so that I don't think that the true implications have hit my mom yet.  She's just pleased that it's now possible.  My dad, always the more practical and realistic, quickly asked her if she wanted him to buy some locks when he went out.

I moved into a new decade this week, always a great mental milestone.  I've got 28.8 pounds left to lose.  That's just amazing to me.  Under 30 pounds left when I started with 175.  I remember thinking about that number and being scared of it.  I had never set a pound goal or an actual weight goal for that matter and 175 seemed so intimidating.   Clearly, that is a Biggest Loser number, a gastric bypass or lap band number, or at the very least it was a 2-3 year in the future number.

Coming so far, in such a short amount of time has benefits and challenges.  I'm grateful that I'm moving quickly and staying motivated (with a few blips here or there).  I worry at times that the mental changes that I must maintain aren't permanent.  I think that time would do a better job to imprint them on my soul, though I don't know if that is even possible.  At the very least, they would be stronger habits, less of a deviation from my norm.  But, like I said, maybe that never happens.  Maybe my reality, my cross to bear, is that I will always have to make the decision, everyday.  Hey, maybe this is what normal eaters do everyday too.  Never been one so I don't know.


  1. What a great problem to have !!! Congrats !!!

  2. I love this post. What a poignant experience to borrow your mom's clothes.

    And yeah, I don't think that the mental changes are ever permanent. There are two sayings that help me with this food gig: Firstly: "Repetition is the only form of permanence that nature can achieve." In other words, the only thing we can do is repeat good habits and over time, they become the history of our lives but still they are never permanent...

    Secondly, a favourite saying of mine is "Each day that we live well, we are well." This is it, your habits are here today and you are living well, that is all that matters. Neither of us can take on the eternity of tomorrow today. We live and love well today because that is all that we can do.

    Sorry if I sound preachy. I mean to be helpful! You are doing so well. I so admire you. Thanks for your comments on my blog the other day.

  3. Yikes! I'm a little late to this party, but this sets forth in no-nonsense detail exactly what danger I'm in! I haven't had to worry about who was sharing my clothes for years...(You know, "what if that person looks better in my clothes than me? what if they stretch 'em or something? What if they ruin 'em?)

    But in this case, I guess we'll just have to share. For awhile. Then you should get your own damn clothes...