Was supposed to publish this last night, but I just crashed!
I went to my job's End of the Year party last night. We go on this boat called The Spirit of Philadelphia and most of the time I go because I feel obligated not because I really want to. It was really no different this year except I got a little more excited to go because I got to play dress up with my mom's clothes. I have to say I looked cute. My underwear, stockings, jeans and shoes were mine...everything else, including the lipstick I wore was borrowed from my mom.
I felt like I finally was able to benefit from a time honored tradition that my sister has enjoyed for years...borrowing your mom's good clothes. My mom and dad were really excited that I was able to join the tradition, so much so that I don't think that the true implications have hit my mom yet. She's just pleased that it's now possible. My dad, always the more practical and realistic, quickly asked her if she wanted him to buy some locks when he went out.
I moved into a new decade this week, always a great mental milestone. I've got 28.8 pounds left to lose. That's just amazing to me. Under 30 pounds left when I started with 175. I remember thinking about that number and being scared of it. I had never set a pound goal or an actual weight goal for that matter and 175 seemed so intimidating. Clearly, that is a Biggest Loser number, a gastric bypass or lap band number, or at the very least it was a 2-3 year in the future number.
Coming so far, in such a short amount of time has benefits and challenges. I'm grateful that I'm moving quickly and staying motivated (with a few blips here or there). I worry at times that the mental changes that I must maintain aren't permanent. I think that time would do a better job to imprint them on my soul, though I don't know if that is even possible. At the very least, they would be stronger habits, less of a deviation from my norm. But, like I said, maybe that never happens. Maybe my reality, my cross to bear, is that I will always have to make the decision, everyday. Hey, maybe this is what normal eaters do everyday too. Never been one so I don't know.