Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Getting What You Need

My boyfriend and I are very different.  We see things differently, we react to things differently and we just need different things from each other.  For all that difference though, we are a lot alike.  We enjoy just being with each other: just relaxing and talking.  We have fun in our difference-most of the time.  He is great where I'm challenged and vice-versa.  I never understood that Jerry McGuire line "You complete me." and as corny as it sounds, it's true.  We balance each other--most of the time.  I've never been with someone who I felt so comfortable with. He makes me laugh, even at myself.

We don't fight often, mostly because he gets mad and shuts down or I get mad and dump it all out until I'm not mad anymore.  He usually just waits out my rants and we move on.  I posted before about how he's been mad at me since Saturday and his reaction to me pissed me off, so I got mad too.  I guess we were in a standoff.

It broke this morning.  We had a really honest conversation.  You know, the kind where you're in the car, with it still on, parked off on the side of the street, while people walk by and wonder who's ticking that chick off!  So, we let it out and actually learned some things about what the other needed.  It reaffirmed for me that I truly love this man.  I love him for a lot of reasons and one of them is that he is a man.  He's a grown up and we have a grown up relationship.  You move through life with an idea of what relationships and love are supposed to be and most of it is bullshit! Built up by unrealistic fairytale notions that you create from books, TV, movies and looking in on other people's relationships.

Loving another person takes as much work as weight loss or anything else that you need to work for your life.  I don't say that in a negative way.  But you do have to accept a certain reality.  You have to be honest with yourself. You have to be accepting.   Most of all you have to understand that it's not a passive ride.  It will not just come to you.  You have to do things everyday that will build and encourage positive results. When it gets tough, you have to figure out what's wrong and how to make it better; not take your cookies and go hide in your room and eat the whole bag. You have to decide that for every want that you sacrifice you will ultimately be getting everything that you need.


  1. Ahhh relationships...they stump me and this is my second marriage!!

    Aaaanyway, I'm so glad you found my blog and now I have yours! Love, love, love new blogs. And you are truly an inspiration!

  2. Thanks Kelly. I'm glad too. I love new blogs too.

  3. Aww how true this post is! Thanks for following my blog, I am following you now too. You look fantastic!