There's Always Something

I had a rough day yesterday and was stressed to the point of wanting to go get a protein bar and drown my sorrows.  I decided, in that moment, to stick with my program.  I ate my snack that I had prepared (another reason to prepare all of your meals and take them with you...less of an excuse to turn to ick.) and enjoyed it.  As I drove home, I realized that I was taking my old route that led me right past my old haunt, Burger King.  There was a twinge of nostalgia but I kept it moving.

I got home and the emotions were in full swing but I had extra salad, extra mushrooms, extra grape tomatoes...I didn't have extra protein or extra carbs.  I wanted a sweet banana or the granola that I make for my PM snack but I had a grapefruit...I had a whole one instead of half like I'm supposed to.  Overall, I think I made better decisions than I used to make but guess what I didn't cope well.

The truth about changing your life (and there are folks who will think that I'm being too hard or strict) but the truth is, there is always something.  There is always something that will push me to want to eat when I'm stressed, just like there is always something in an alcoholic that will push them to want to drink or a gambler to gamble or shopper to shop or a drug addict to drug:-)  I have to learn to cope without using food.  That can't be my solace because a grapefruit today will be a cake tomorrow.

I haven't figured it out.  I know that this morning, for my prework-out meal I wanted to eat 3 hard boiled egg whites, 1/2 cup of granola and 1 large banana (which would have constituted a pre-workout meal)...instead I ate 2 egg whites, 1/4 c granola.  I chose this because I was satisfied and had I eaten the rest I would have been full instead of satisfied.  That's part of it.  Listening to my body telling me I've had enough.

The other thing I know is that, I woke up this morning and wanted to roll over instead of get up and work out like I planned.  Truth is, I did roll over.  I hit snooze and promised myself I'd get in my 5 workouts somehow. A few minutes later I popped out of bed and prepared myself to workout.  As I worked out, I pushed myself to have a great workout and not slack up because I wasn't feeling it.  About 10 minutes in, I was feeling it.  My body was loosening up and my mind was pumping out positive thoughts.  I was coping.

There are other things that I need to incorporate into my coping bag of tricks...I'm doing one of them right now and I'll figure other, healthy methods as I go.  I know the hug my son gave me last night worked:-)  The thing that I do know, in the midst of life's uncertainty is that I there's always something and it's okay because I'm okay.

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In other news:  So, something else that I was reminded of last night as I logged in my foods is that it makes a difference what you eat when.  The combination of foods that you eat on a given day impact your overall diet.  That seems pretty obvious, but I've spent almost 9 months just dealing with portions of protein, carbs and veggies and hadn't really counted the actual calories that I was consuming.  Well, I guess for the last month or so, I've been tracking my calories.  I range from about 900 to 1500 calories.  My goal is 1200.  Yesterday, I was up to about 1400+ because of the food choices I made.  Except for in the evening when I increased veggies and fruit, the entire rest of my day was on program.  However, I ate certain foods which are higher in calories than things that I usually eat.  I usually limit higher calorie foods to once a day but I wasn't really thinking about it yesterday.  Anyway, for those of us dealing with our weight I thought this was a point that we should always consider.  Had I tracked my foods as I went along instead of waited until the end of the night, I probably could have made better choices and not gone over.